Scattered Thoughts | ചിതറിയ ചിന്തകൾ

മലയാളത്തിൽ എന്തെങ്കിലും കുത്തികുറിച്ചിട്ട് മൂന്ന് വർഷമായി! ബ്ലോഗിന്റെ കാര്യമാണ് പറഞ്ഞത്. ദുൽഖർ സൽമാൻ മലയാളത്തിൽ അവസാനമായി നായകനായ കിംഗ് ഓഫ് കൊത്ത റിലീസ് ചെയ്‌തിട്ടും മൂന്ന് കൊല്ലം കഴിഞ്ഞു.  എന്നാൽ രണ്ട് വ്യത്യാസങ്ങൾ ഉണ്ട്. 1) ദുൽഖറിന്റെ പുതിയ മലയാള സിനിമ അയാം ഗെയിം റിലീസ് ആവാൻ പ്രേക്ഷകർ കാത്തിരിക്കുന്നുണ്ട്. 2). എന്റെ കുറിപ്പ് വായിക്കാൻ രണ്ടാമതൊരാൾ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നുണ്ടാവില്ല. ബ്ലോഗിൽ എഴുതുന്നവ ഇൻസ്റാഗ്രാമിലോ ഫേസ്ബുക്കിലോ വാട്സാപ്പിലോ സ്റ്റാറ്റസ് ആയി ചേർക്കാത്തത് മൂലം അവ ഇറങ്ങുന്നത് ആരും അറിയാറുമില്ല.    2023 മുതൽ 2026 വരെ അഞ്ച് ഇംഗ്ലീഷ് പോസ്റ്റുകൾ എഴുതി. ഇതിന് മുൻപ് കോവിഡ് കാലത്ത് ദിവസം രണ്ട് ബ്ലോഗ്പോസ്റ്റുകൾ ഫോൺ കീപാഡ് ഉപയോഗിച്ച് എഴുതി. അന്ന് ദിവസവും ഡയറി എഴുതിയിരുന്നു. അന്നത്തെ  എന്റെ ഭാഷയ്ക്ക് ശുദ്ധി ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു. പിന്നീട്, "വായിൽ തോന്നിയത് കോതയ്ക്ക് പാട്ട്" എന്ന വിധേന എന്റെ ഭാഷ  മലിനപ്പെട്ടെന്ന് എന്റെയുള്ളിലെ വിമർശകൻ പറയുന്നു.   എഴുതാൻ വിഷയം കണ്ടെത്തുന്നത് കുഴപ്പിക്കുന്ന സമസ്യയല്ല. പക്ഷെ, എഴുതി ഫലിപ്പിക്കാൻ കഴിവും ക്ഷമയും വേണം. ഒറ്റയെഴുത്തിൽ ആൾക്കാരെ...

  “Do I need to take my passport to come to Sikkim?” I asked Subecha. It was a basic question that reflected my lack of prior knowledge before undertaking one of the most pristine memories in my travel diaries. I reached Gangtok on February 26, 2026, in a car that carried the nine of us from Darjeeling Chaurasta, aka the junction. I landed at Bagdogra Airport on February 23, 2026, and over the next three days, I fell in love with the people of Darjeeling. I also empathized with their daily struggles, which included working at tea gardens for as low as Rs 300. The Himalayan Zoo, as well as the Mountaineering Institute, were fascinating, and the museum offered a how-to guide on mountain climbing. I also bought a small backpack travel bag from there as a memory of that trip. However, I was a bit concerned about paying Rs 1,000 for the toy train joy ride. Despite that, it offered a round trip from Darjeeling Station to Ghoom Station. The fact that we travel by road while covering this ...

  March 15, 2026. I was walking towards Kanhangad on a hot Sunday evening when I met a smart woman. She was selling fish while sitting confidently at the nearby bus stop. She looked close to 50, was wearing a nice saree, with matching gold jewelry, and a bindi that suited her face. Beside her, there was a cat who resembled Pinki, a street cat that I have been interacting with since 2023. I have this habit of talking to people who are simple by nature. So, I started talking to Aunty as the bus was supposed to reach only by 5:15, and we had 30 minutes left on the clock. We initially started noticing each other when I touched that cat. “Does she have any children?” I asked Aunty. “They all got killed in different accidents,” she replied. Indeed, the number of street cats that die in accidents is a high proportion. One of the street cats that we raised, Pinki, also died in an accident two months ago. I glanced at the cat once again. It had a slightly louder voice than the Pinki I used ...

"I don't feel safe in this country. India is run by a government that favors Hindutva. These people treat us like outsiders. So, I live with fear. Why are you all reluctant to accept our existence?" asked Rameeza. Arun was speechless. He noticed the tears in her eyes, and the sedate tone of her voice was quite evident. Apparently, they did not come out of sadness. They came after her frustration about how the country's rulers treated her and her community. "I am glad the Perinthalmanna blast was by a Hindu. If it were a Muslim, it would have aggravated the backlash against the Muslims." "What did we do wrong? I don't know. Why do some people keep treating every Muslim as a monster? Why is it different when a crime involves a person from another religion? I can't make sense of it. This is nothing but differential treatment," she said. It made Arun stand in silence for a second. "Look at Adolf Hitler. He was always treated as a dicta...

January 11, 2025, 5 am. Rohan rushed to the bathroom to clean up the semen. He ejaculated at midnight, and his track pants were all wet. Inside the bathroom, he revisited his sexual dream.  He stood still for a moment. His eyes had a drop of tears. It came out of the realization that the central character of his dream was his 39-year-old mom Reenu.  “Why the hell,” he asked himself, as he cleaned up his body. He flushed the toilet, but could not flush his mind.  “Ro, you want some chai?,” asked Reenu as she saw him coming out.  “No, ” he responded abruptly, and turned on his laptop. He opened the tabs of Instagram, Netflix and YouTube. His YouTube feed was surrounded with updates such as, “Margaret Robbie topless scene from Wolf of Wall Street”, “How to make her fall for you”, “All we Imagine as Light nude scene,” etc.  After all, he was a 13-year-old teenager, who had no clue about sex. He was too shy to ask his friends about it, and like all young teenagers,...

Chapter 1 July 4, 2022, 3 pm “Jithin, there's a call for you from HR,” informed Ramesh ettan, our team lead. I went over to him. He told me to meet HR in person and to bring my office ID. I wasn’t sure about the purpose of the meeting. I was already serving my notice period. My work performance had been unsatisfactory, and I wanted to quit on my own terms. The job was no longer enjoyable. Moreover, I wasn’t working on things that interested me. As a sports lover, I found no joy in covering national news, crime, and politics for the website. On paper, I had many boxes ticked: a good job, a decent salary, and a well-known company. But inside, I was bleeding every single day. I was counting down the days until I could leave. My colleagues didn’t care much about me as I was an introvert and not part of any social circles. My depressed mentality and their judgmental attitudes made it hard for us to have any relationship at all. I thought about all this as I rode the elevator to HR. A we...