Score freely on Facebook debates!

Facebook is a medium that creates confusion among people like us! We feel happy and assured when we meet people with a similar mentality while discussing big topics. This sense of rejoicing is shortlived. We will be meeting people having opposing views and may face a tough time while arguing with them. It is good to expose yourself into diverse viewpoints. But sometimes you are forced to hear stuff that you never imagine. 

"They are 'feminichis' (a derogatory word to describe the feminists). I am happy my family don't have any such women. They are the 'other' types," casually remarked an educated friend on social media. It pained me a bit. I never thought people like him can be so insensible and harsh on a crucial topic. I tried to 'advice' him this is not the way to speak. I realise one thing, It is tough to correct people who are close to you. Especially when you are someone who likes self-learning. 

But, sometimes the thought that his life is our responsibility could pop up. That is when you decide to deal with such people. What do you get in return? Mostly negative stuff. The other person may start spreading more dangerous stuff and pay no heed to your 'advice'. After a couple of such incidents, I realised one thing! This strategy is not going to work.

Most people are not going to listen to you if you put across the 'message' in a public platform. People are receiving it from different quarters. They will not digest it when they hear it in a medium where more people are watching their actions. Our debates often seem like kabaddi matches. Both sides will try to score points. You have to touch people in the opposition, that is to react to everyone before returning safely to your position. Of course, it can be a football game if we have some engaging people on both sides. 

Here is a thump rule! Be ready to get 'framed' with different taglines like 'liberal, Communist, Sanghi'. They will look at you through these lenses. You will receive the response accordingly. Sometimes, in the end, you may end up thinking the actual reason for all the attack! It is fine to express your thoughts and feelings with opposing voices. It's better to know when to raise your voice and when to hold it back. Most people have short memories. It is not always true (even if they say so) that they take you seriously. You might be spending a whole lot of time explaining things to them. But people may not be ready to listen. They may be hearing from you but not the point you are articulating to them. If you are a faithful optimist who values your reactions more than anything, you can go ahead with full confidence!

The point is not to give up these discussions. It is on how to make them lively and engaging. 

• Be specific with your points and cross-check your facts before giving tall claims. 
• Give respect to the other person. Make sure you are receiving the same in return. If not, leave the space. 
• Don't take things personally. Let the discussion go in an informal/semi-formal tone. It can help people to express things more freely. 
• Give the impression that you are willing to accept new ideas. Usages like I understand, I agree, etc can help. 
• Make sure you are not preachy. In this tech world, information is overloaded. Communicate your thoughts. Leave it to them to take it or not.                                                                               

At the end of the day, there is no guarantee that this will work because people can surprise you with their unpredictability! Just be sure about the things you post and be ready to talk about it. Keep in mind that people are different types and may think in weird ways. Be ready to deal with it.