When you make 'fun' of someone

We have been there, we have done that! Because it gave us a sadistic pleasure. Many of us thought it was pure fun. But when it came to us, realised it was not to be. 

Insults are part and parcel of our upbringing. We are treated with strong words and pathetic reactions when we don't do things correctly. "You are like a ___. You don't know anything." Many of us may have heard this in childhood. Instead of showing the way, we too often mock/criticise children and sometimes it hurts them. 

We feel that it can make the kid do things better in future. Is that so? The problem here is that what a child anticipates is different - empathy. The grownups in the rush to get the task done often tend to forget that this is just a child. They are not likely to do everything correctly. Mistreatment begins at home and we are conditioned to it. 

I too am made fun of many things. My accent, shape, walk, gestures, words, actions, reactions, behaviour are mocked by strangers and peers. I can't say it is painful all the time. I have lived with it for many years. I would like to believe that I reached a point where what people do to me does not make a big difference. It was tough to come to this position. In school years, I was beaten up by friends just to see me crying. They thought it was pure fun. I kept it to myself and once I tried to hit back. I pulled his hair and smashed his nose. He became violent and I was not spared. 

Well...the letter 's' had something against me! When I say it, I speak with a thick accent. People mocked at me for not speaking normally. Even at the office, when an argument of mine did not seem convincing to some friends from posh schools, they asked which school did I study. Until a month two ago, I used to explain while facing similar circumstances. After a point, I realised it is not necessary. I recalled an old saying," people will only hear what they want to hear."

       

We mocked a friend

It is true! I think it started when there was an inner urge to give it back. Perhaps I fell into the trap was this was all pretty much natural. Even before I started, he was already under target by my college classmates. He is innocent by nature. He, like some of us, had not coped with the complications of modern living. He was brutally trolled in the classroom. People used to exaggerate the things he had said. Our free hours were painful to him because he was often bullied by the others. At the start, we used to comfort him. But my advice was wrong. I used to tell him to take everything on his stride and dismissed the scope for a meaningful conversation. We could have made his campus days brighter. But after a year or so, we too often made him someone to play along. He fumed at us several times and we reacted as if nothing had happened. This went on for two/three months. 

After a point, I realised what I was doing. He was indeed enjoying our company. But sometimes, we could not repay when it was needed. I stopped teasing him for silly reasons. I gave it up and learned to respect people the way they are. He remains the only person I had mocked so far.

Think about what you do 

I am not asking people to be politically correct all the time. I want to turn your attention into what we are doing. The human mind has a strong and weak side. The weaker part is connected to our emotions. We don't have the power to control someone's mind. It is independent by nature. Our 'funny' jokes may not be funny to people at the receiving end. Why do we want to be the reason for someone's sadness?

It is a basic social courtesy to accept people the way they are. That will make them feel comfortable and let them enjoy life. What about the fun element, you may ask! The world is not scarce for fun activities. When we accept to live in a certain way, we'll find new methods to rejoice ourself. Let all be happy!