Wandering words

Writing is one of my favourite jobs. The most challenging aspect that I have in mind about writing is the constant fear of repeating myself. It could be a word or a phrase or an idea. I always knew that I have a limited vocabulary and my writing style is kind of unattractive in nature. Many of my articles had got rejected and ridiculed due to some flaws in language and grammar. I encounter an unhappy feeling when someone spots grammatical errors in my writings. I rely on Grammarly service before publishing my English posts on the blog. The point I follow is to keep writing and to minimalise my flaws by writing more content. No grammar checking software is super accurate. Writing is a human skill which is not a software kind of a thing. The advantage of using such a medium is that it allows us to realise where we are wrong. But the wisest method is to not overuse it to a point where we feel we are incapable in its absence. A good form of writing always requires a narrative pattern which is more legible and easier to understand for the people.

 I felt unworthy at times when my writings did not meet the critical criteria of an editor. I always give my best shot when I am writing but I make terrible mistakes despite my dedicated efforts. Sometimes, I failed because I was fascinated by an idea. That is the time when I share my writings without giving a good glance. Time and attention span of people are hard to come by. We cannot request people to go through our works repeatedly. So, it is necessary to grasp the skills of being a good reader and a decent writer.

I cannot pinpoint grammatical errors in a sentence because of my weakness in that area in language studies. Sometimes I identify mistakes with my memory of reading grammatically correct sentences. 

My job in the media field has improved my thinking and writing ability. I write better than what I had written in the past. Yet it comes with limitations and challenges. Every good writing posted online or on paper would challenge me and ask questions about my capacity.

 

"Did I write it fine?"

 

"Am I good enough?"

 

"How can I improve?"

 

"Am I doing better?"

 

I had the habit of reading The Hindu and some English magazines in my college days. I still follow these dailies but not as consistent as what I used to. When I repeat myself, I began doubting my linguistic skills. It sometimes goes into a point where my mind instructs me to go back to the basics before being too ambitious. I struggle for words and actual meaning when I deliver an idea different from how I conveyed when I was thinking.  That is the time when I rewrite a sentence in several ways before finalising on something. When writing, I focus on one sentence at a given time to deliver it in my best ability. I need to wait patiently to produce better-written documents from my end. The satisfaction or sheer relief that one would feel after finishing writing is an enjoyable thing. The most accomplished moment that I know in writing is when we write without stopping at a point to think about something. The unstoppableness in writing would prove to us that we have something to say. But how do we say it? We need to map out the intended idea in the first draft. As we read the first draft once again, we identify its missing links and shortcomings. Then we read the same thing after a break to identify its errors - narrative, grammatical, structural. That is how we eventually fill up the gaps.

 I have sat with a draft for several months. I am still unhappy about its content. Every time I read it; I feel I have missed out on something. Many writers acknowledge that it is the most common trait with them. The problem with my writings is that I am neither a natural nor a trained writer. The gifted writers can beautifully communicate their thoughts. Trained writers convey their emotions in a structured format. My writings are silly and unstructured and are demanding for a reader. I have a keen wish to rectify those mistakes and come again.